Archive for category bgclive-inceleme dating

She says: “No one is trying to lower men’s sex drives

I don’t hear, ‘Doctor, my sex drive is too high. Please, do something about it. It’s killing my marriage.’” Sewell, who was deeply in love with her husband, Kip, but felt no desire to have sex with him (or anyone else), documents her sexploration and ‘journey’ to finding the right, intimate balance for both of them.

Despite some criticism once the book was published – that the couple were wildly mismatched in the first place – they managed to agree on a contract that worked. It involved hand jobs, lube jobs and, when she didn’t feel like being touched, her dressing up like a Playmate and letting him watch.

Sewell hasn’t followed up her bestseller and seems to be generally incognito online so there’s no way of knowing how the marriage panned out or whether her libido sky-rocketed mid menopause. I, for one, would devour an update!

However, what Sewell’s eventual agreement with Kip does support is the long-standing advice from sex therapists that penetrative sex should not be viewed as the Holy Grail, of love-making, and non-penetrative sex play as a consolation prize or ‘tide-over’ until the main event.

I feel guilty and ashamed that I don’t want less sex

All intimate touch and play is valid and strengthens a couple’s connection and should be respected as such. In the same vein, women often ‘gift’ sex to their partners when they’re not in the mood. This works in the short term or every now and then, especially if delivered with love and enthusiasm and not mid-waiting for your nails to dry as you catch an episode of Queer Eye over his shoulder. But ‘gifting’ is not a long-term solution either as the exchange will always feel one-sided.

For a resolutely un-horny woman, her sex quest was borne of generosity and love, with Kip her willing and apparently satisfied subject

So, what can you do? A visit to your GP is a good start to establish if there are any physical or psychological issues that you need to address. Read the rest of this entry »

No Comments